Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
