But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
