If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
