ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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