I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
