he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
