so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
