Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
