Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
