I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
