please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
