Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
