It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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