He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just tell him i said nine months
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
