How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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