I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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