just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
