Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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