i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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