so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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