It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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