There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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