I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
