road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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