I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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