Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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