was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
