i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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