I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
