Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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