physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize