I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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