Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
