Sry I called you an 8
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize