everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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