Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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