My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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