I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
