if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
