My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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