So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
