you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
