I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
be right there i have to get my cape
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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