stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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