You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
