its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
