$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
