fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
