worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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