Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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