I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
3pm strippers are depressing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
