Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
