He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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