You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is puke in my bra ... again
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