Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
