In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
