It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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