If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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