I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
there is puke in my bra ... again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
