Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
