Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
