I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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