my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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