A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
