I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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