I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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