i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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