There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize